Before I delve too deep into this subject I’d like to say that for 40 minutes of my life during the Christmas holidays of 2006 I tried to be gay but it just didn’t take. Sure, according to pop culture, most women have a slight gay phase in college but as with everything, I am a late bloomer and waited until my 30’s to play for the other team…what can I say, I am the beater of my own drum…so to speak.
That is another story for another time but I thought I’d mention it just to fend off the first few people or friends who may find any offense in what I have to say about me and my gay friends…(I know gay includes lesbians but I really don’t know that many lesbians so I thought I’d focus on men for now).
I thought I’d say a thing or two because I am really not sure how to process the feelings I have been having towards my gay friends recently. You see, from a barely straight man’s point of view the gay man has become the better man. Its not a coincidence that they have so many straight female friends, its because they are the ideal of the perfect man. Sure, not all of them, but I choose to deal in stereotypes here because in my opinion and experience, most stereotypes have large resemblances in the reality we live in…
Gay men for the most part take better care of themselves, dress better, socially interact with flair, smell friggin’ great, and have a strong sense of themselves and how to communicate with others. They work hard, party hard, and love hard…no pun intended on all three counts.
In short, they are a hard act to follow and really remind me of how caveman I really am. Now I do not mean to belittle any of my own innate insecurities that have nothing to do with my GQ-like demi-god gay friends because I know I bring a lot to the table before I even consider blaming others strengths but for the love of pete, could a few of you just be a little imperfect more often…please!
And the advice…they have so much of it too give and most of its pretty good but there is always that self-help book tone that smells a little like Deepok Chopra and Marianne Williamson having a steam bath together.
I am the first to admit how educated most gay men I know are, how else could they have come up for so many sub-categories of their brethren? I am a bear by the way…
I just wish that sometimes some of them didn’t have all the answers, weren’t so happy, and would act a little like a pathetic male sometimes. And for the record, my 40 minutes of being gay not working out had nothing to do with the partner I chose, it was more about not enjoying penis in my mouth…
